Singleness: Sanctification Without Sex

Ballard Campus 10-09-11 Pastor Phil & Jen Schmidt
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An Event at Mars Hill Ballard after the 7:15PM Sunday Service for all the single people.  Emphasis: look to Christ and trust in his plan for you.

Singleness: Sanctification Without Sex
God agres witn me or I agree with God
+Repentance looks like me releasing my own view of singleness in favor of God

You are not a couple unless you are married

Considerations for Singleness
(1) - Gift - a great gift from God
How do I view my singleness? I enjoy it and often look to my selfish desires of being self-centered.
Jesus engages the Samaratian in conversation trying to break her view of singleness as a broken gift, he
James says every good and perfect gift come from God, Singleness is that good gift
(2) - Stewardship
How am I stewarding my singleness? I fail daily to live a life that all about Jesus.  I get wrapped up in selfishness.
PMD says that Chirstians veer towards either dependence or independence
Growing in Godly Character
+Responsibility - How do I lead myself?
+Submissive - How do I recieve correction; am I in community
+trustworthiness - Am I a man of my word?
+Perseverance - What happens when life gets difficult
+Plans - How do I steward my day (time), money, and reputation?
+Committment - Do I follow through?
+Service - How am I loving ad serving other people?
+Purity - Does my life show a lve for Jesus or a love for Sex?
+Honor - How Do I treat God's Daghters?
+Humility - Can I admit when I am wrong?
Mrs Schmidt - For the Ladies...
(1) Who is She?
+Does She identify herself with her Job, her sexuality, her independence...
+What is revealed about how she handles her money and her time?
(2) What Does She Love?

(3)What Controls Her?
+Emotion, Circumstances, independence, chronic desire for a husband...

Ladies like labels (sources of identity)

A.W. Tozer "What you think about God is the most important thing about you"
1 Cor 1 - Identity is the most important thing about you

Mrs. Schmidt talks to the ladies in a way that really emphasizes the Love of the Father and the Love of Jesus...When Speaking to women, they respond and are compelled by this message...weird I respond to rebuke and seeing jesus not a love giver but as Lecrae says, "Thug Jesus" from Rev.
Developing Godly Character
+Is she Submissive to Jesus?
+Is she obsessed in getting to the next life stage, the next mission that God
+Prayer - How does she pray, what does this reveal about her view of God?
+Repent - Is this a lifestyle for her? Is is frequent and specific?
+Honest - Does she bear her heart and soul to trusted others?

Purity: The Pursuit of Sexual Purity is not a life-threatening condition?
+this is a worship issue NOT an abstinence issue
God's will is that I guard my heart, my sexuality, my treatment of my brothers and sisters.
Sex was made a a gift to enjoy in marriage
I am to treat women as my sisters and mothers
Men and women are image bearers NOT objects
Porn and fantasy - escape from facing reality objectifies men and women.
Jesus promises to cleanse us from sexual sin and deliver us from our idols.

Expectation
Anticipation of a spouse is not a sin - Have an open hand with her
Demanding a spouse is a sin
+Dating a non-Christian - Result of demanding
+Cohabitation - Result of demanding
++There is a higher rate of divorce among cohabitators than non
+Cultural dating - This will prepare me for divorce
+Sexual Sin
+Setting the bar too low / too high for a spouse
+Fear of Committment
+Destract myself with my job and my service
Submission for both men and women is the heart of Jesus - "you Will be done"
+Spurgeon said - The Father knows what to give and what to withhold

Questions and Answers
How can I practice self sacrifice while single?
+Look at my week, where does my time go?
+How is my sexuality being stewarded?
+How is my money being stewarded?
Is there a happy medium between "Cultural dating" and dating one person to get married?
+I want my kids to date and marry one person - Pastor Phil
+Knowing people in community is what you need to do, then there will be people to vouch for her character.
What are some legit reasons to postpone dating? When will you know it is time?
+Am I mature in jesus? - Not really. There is so much I freaking stuff I don't know.
+Is my idea of a good time playing video games?
+Ask mature people around me if I am ready to date

Will my past sexual sin affect my future marriage?
+Yes, there will be consequences
+PMD says 20 years to get to imtimacy if she was abused or was sexually active prior to marriage.
+Perfect live castes out fear.
+Sactification is learnign to trust the truth that I am fully forgiven and justified by Jesus' work.

Cohabitation without Sex?
+God calls men and women to become one in all of life
++Emotionally, Spiritually, Physically
++There is no committment at all in cohabitation
+Intimacy is built in many ways beyond sexuality